Baskin Robbers

I love ice cream. Who the fuck doesn’t? Even my nephew who hates most foods is into it (acceptable: happy meals, ice cream, cereal, donuts, sandwiches within reason, candy/gum, pizza, spaghetti-o’s and other canned pastas, and hypothetically anything branded by Iron Maiden).

When I was in transit between Cleveland and Indianapolis, we would frequent Cold Stone… When I moved here, we were geographically inclined to patronize Dairy Queen (there was one practically on the way to everywhere). They used to be much more liberal with “buy one get one” coupons for blizzards. I would get shitty if they would actually ask for my coupon when I got to the window to pay regardless of the fact that I probably printed several and had extras in the door of my car. Since my glory days of Georgia Mud Fudge w/ heathpiece thrift, they’ve gotten even more staunch on their coupon policy. They ration out six bogo coupons per year which are accessible to print only once (you could still print several that one time) and disappear once they expire. Our orders got too creative and pricey (I like to add stuff. like lots of stuff++.) so we moved on*.

Our romance for Coldstone was soon rekindled. Every time I go in that place I am dumbfounded and don’t know what to do because there’s so many choices and so many complicated sundaes none of which i want without at least one amendment. Luckily decisions were soon made for me when management was changed overnight and coupons of all kinds were BANNED FOR LIFE. The father and son owner team are such scrimpers they are tightwads about their spoons and their peanut butter supply.

We soon discovered that Baskin Robbins, catty corner across the street, was incredible and gratuitiously accepted coupons AND had frequent glutton cards for milk shake drinkers and sundae eaters. It is definately good, frightningly they’re starting to recognize me as “the girl who comes in all the time”+. The problem with baskin robbins is that our habit has come with the spring/arbitrary summer thaw so they have all kinds of trainees. The prices never match the menu, the charges are arbitrary and the product inconsistent. This is almost inarguable because by the time they give you your receipt and you actually see what you pay for it’s too late for refunds and I don’t want anyone doing anything funky to my ice cream. For example today I paid 1.96 for “four scoops of strawberries”. Instead of arguing with me as to whether a milk shake warrants a stamp on my “i drink too much melted ice cream card- give me a free one” today they stamped the fuck out of my sundae card when I bought 2 (not 6). Fucking ice cream roulette. But its so good.

++”Oreo cheesequake with chocolate ice cream add cocofudge** and strawberries” “Philly Cheesesteak?”

*it also got weird when I tried to cut a backdoor deal to get nutter butters back into blizzards after they briefly promotionally offered the cookie as a blizzard feature. Plus their drive thru never worked and they heard me wrong no matter what I said.

+This has not occurred since 2007 when infrequent visits to cold stone always included Faux-wen Wilson sightings and young girls offering me peanut butter spoons.

**I still don’t know what coco fudge is but you’ve got to try it.


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